Leading your home is your greatest calling.

Your greatest calling is not to lead your company, your church, or your community. The greatest calling you have, is to lead your home. I know this may be something that you already know. In fact I’m sure it is, however, knowing something is one thing but walking it out is altogether different. 

Here is what God instructs us as leaders in 1 Timothy 3:1-5, “The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?” 

This passage of scripture is talking specifically about the qualities and characteristics of a shepherd (pastor) of a local church. Shepherds are to manage their home well and raise our children correctly. Because, if we can’t manage their own house, how can they be trusted to manage what belongs to God. 

I feel that this verse can also very much be applied to any leader. As a leader you are a shepherd. You are in charge of and oversee the flock of your family, company, class, or students. It is so important for us to realize that everything we have actually belongs to God and we are simply stewarding his gifts, so if you as a leader cannot take care of your own family, how can you rightfully take care of the other gifts that God has put into your hands? 

In I Timothy 5:8, we also read, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever”.  Scripture says, anyone who does not provide for their family has denied the faith. God says this person is worse than someone who does not even know Jesus. These are some pretty heavy passages of scripture that clearly show us what happens at home is the greatest priority and calling of our life. Managing marriage, ministry, and raising a family is a really tough juggling act. However, it is really just a matter of keeping our priories straight.   

God.  

Spouse.  

Kids.  

Church / Organization 

In this order.  

The most important thing God has asked you to lead is your family. Shine Gods love into them. Sacrifice for them. Spend time with them. Mentor them. It does not do much good to take everyone else families to heaven, if we don't first take our own. How we lead others should come out of the overflow of leading our family. 

Several years ago I was being interviewed at a conference that I was speaking at. One of the questions they asked was, “Kevin, what does a great ministry look like?” I paused for a second and said, “To me a great ministry looks like this: Every night when I go to bed and lay beside my wife, I close my eyes and ask myself three questions.  

1 - Did I do something today to make HIM smile? 

2 - Does my wife know that she is loved and that she can trust me?  

3 - Was I the father that Jordan, Logan, Mikayla and Lilly needed me to be?  

If that answer to those three questions, is yes, not only was it a good day, but I have a great ministry. I am leading the way God intended me to lead. I am leading my home.

As leaders in todays culture we need to remember that …

1 - Leading well is not measured by the size of the crowd.  Leading well is sitting on the couch talking about faith with your family. 

2 - Leading well is not butts in the seats and bucks in the bank. Leading well is modeling for your children what it looks like to walk with Jesus. 

3 - Leading well is not writing books or blogs. Leading well is reading bed time stories to your little girl at night.  

I now you are a “go getter”. I know you want to change the world. But as you are striving to help everyone else, remember that, true leadership flows from the inside out. True leadership starts in the home.  Leading your home is your greatest calling.

Lessons learned from a paintbrush and paint can.

I originally wrote this blog in 2010, when I was the Youth Pastor at Oneighty, in Tulsa. Oklahoma. It is still as relevant today as it was then. I hope this helps you in your leadership journey.

I became a full time Youth Pastor in January of 2000. That spring my Senior Pastor called me on the phone and told me to come to his office because he had something he wanted to give me. As I walked down the hallway my mind started racing.

What in the world is it?

Maybe he’s going to give me a raise. Maybe he is going give me more opportunities to speak on Sunday mornings or give me the position of Associate Pastor of the church. I couldn’t wait to see what my Pastor wanted to give me.

When I stepped into his office, my Pastor stood to his feet and said “Kevin, I have something to give you.” He reached out his hand and handed me a paintbrush and paint can. Then he told me “There is a church picnic this weekend, so I need you to go out in the field and paint the baseball backstop, so it looks presentable”.

I thought to myself, paint the backstop! Are you kidding me?

As I walked outside, holding the gift from my Pastor I remember thinking, “ I didn’t go into full time ministry to paint a fence. I didn’t become a Youth Pastor to do manual labor. I went into ministry to make a difference. I don’t need to be doing this, this is the janitors job.”

But, the more I painted the more I began to realize. Painting the backstop would be a janitor’s job, if we had a janitor. But we don’t. It’s just the Pastor and me.

He is the Pastor of the Church. He has a message to prepare. The backstop needs painted and I’m the only one that he can turn too. So, as I stood there in the hot sun painting that backstop, I began to pray, “Lord, I thank you for my Pastor. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to serve him, thank for allowing me to help him, so he can do what he needs to do.”

From that day on, I always looked for opportunities to serve my pastor. Sometimes, I did what some people would think are very menial tasks, things like setting up chairs, mowing the lawn, or taking a sick church member to the hospital.

But the more I served him in the small, the more my Pastor gave me opportunities to do the bigger things. Eventually, I did get a raise. I started preaching more on Sunday mornings, and even became the Associate Pastor of the church.

I can’t tell you how thankful I am for that paintbrush and paint can. Those two items taught me one of the greatest ministry lessons I’ve ever learned.

As a youth pastor, my job is not to build my own little kingdom, and look out for my own interest. No. My job as a youth pastor is to faithfully serve my leader, doing anything and everything I can do to free him up and to serve his interests, so together we can build God’s kingdom one family, one teenager, at a time.

Application Questions:

Who do you serve?

What is your attitude in serving them?

How often do you pray for them?

What can you do to serve them better?

If I can ever serve you through coaching or training, just let me know. I would love to help.

Real World Rules.

Everything in life has rules.  Rules are written, spoken and unspoken.  However they are certain, rules that govern everything we do.  If you learn these rules, and play by them you are going to go far. If you don't know the rules or know them and refuse to play along, well your life is going to be far less than you ever hoped.

When you are young, living with mom and/or dad, getting things handed to you, it’s easy to have a misguided view of how life is to be lived.  However, a few months out in the REAL WORLD will wake you up very quickly. Here are some rules that I have learned over the many years I've lived in the real world.  Unfortunately I've had to learn many of them the hard way. 

1) Small is BIG

5 minutes is not very long.  You can be 5 minutes early or you can be 5 minutes late.  If you are only 5 minutes late to many times, you get FIRED and lose your job. Small things make big impacts.

2) Your Intentions mean NOTHING.  Your actions are EVERYTHING

"I was going to but...."  "I thought about it, but...."  "I really really wanted to, but....."  Listen, your boss, your spouse, your kids and all the people in the world don't give a flying flip about what you intended to do. All they care about is what you actually did.

3) No one gives you anything.

A job, a raise, a house, a car, a vacation trip to the Bahama's....you don't deserve any of those things. The only way you will get and keep the things in life that you want or need, is by earning them.  You earn a raise. You save for the vacation. You get a job, so you can buy a car.  We live in a society of people that feel entitled to everything, when in actuality they are entitled to nothing. The sooner you learn that no one is going to give you anything, the faster you will get the things you want and need.

4) Your talent and a $1.50, will get you a cheap cup of coffee.

Talented people are a dime a dozen.  The world is full of great athletes, amazing musicians and incredibly gifted communicators that never made it.  Far too often gifted people rely solely on their looks, talents or abilities to take them where they want to go.  However, talent will only take you so far.  Talent is a wonderful commodity when combined with character, but alone talent is just not enough.

5) A servants heart will take you places you never dreamed.

What does Amazon, Airbnb, and the Loves just off the highway, have in common?  They have mastered the art of SERVICE.  I need something delivered tomorrow, so I log onto Amazon.com. People need a place to sleep at a great price, Airbnb gives them what they need. If you are Driving on a road trip and need to load up on gasoline or snacks? Loves, serves those needs by offering a store on almost every major exit along your journey.

Jeff Bezos wanted to serve people. He is now the wealthiest man on the planet. Airbnb was started with the idea of giving people great service when they are staying in a new city. Today it’s one of the largest hotel chains in the world. By giving people the opportunity to fuel up with gasoline and load up with snacks, Loves helps people stay on the road and make it to their destination. What started out in 1964 as one gas station, now has have over 500 locations in 41 states and employs more than 22,000 individuals.

If you want to be great, have nice things, make an impact on the people around you, you must have a servants heart.  When you do, you will go places, do things that you never dreamed, and make the world a better place.

These are just a few of the lessons I've learned along my 49 year journey of life.  Hope they help you on your journey!

I love to read ... but I can't remember anything!

One of my favorite things to do is read. Years ago, I made the commitment to read at least on book per month. Today I love reading so much I read 2 to 4 books per month. Even though I love to read, if I am honest, I have to say that, I really struggle with retaining and remembering the details of what I’ve read. Because I don’t really read for fun, but to grow, this is a real problem.

Out of my desire to take what I’ve read and improve my life and leadership, several years ago, I started a very simple three step process of read, journal, and apply.

Step 1 - Read

Each year I am diligent to have a well rounded diet of seven different types of books. Christian Living - Leadership - Church Leadership / Discipleship - Finances - Family - Management - Fun.

I personally think that books are the greatest financial and time investment I can make for growth. For $20 to $25 and 6 hours of my time, I gain knowledge and experiences that took the author 20+ years to learn.

Because of this, reading is the main tool that I use to sharpen myself daily.

Step 2 - Journal

Like I stated at the beginning of this blog, I do not have the best retention. I tend to forget most of what I’ve read, unless I write it down. So I started jotting down notes in the margins, then I began journaling in notebooks, however, my handwriting is so horrible, that I can’t clearly read all my notes. Because of this, a few years ago I started keeping detailed notes from the books I read in my Evernote. I have found Evernote to be easy to use and easy to pull up information when I need to revisit something that I’ve read.

I don’t journal on every chapter. When a section, chapter, or chapters inspire me, I simply write down an overview - what the author said - how it applies to me - what steps I need to take in my life.

Note - For an example - Below I’ve put a section of a recent journal entry in my Evernote from “Visioneering” by Andy Stanley

Step 3 - Apply

I enjoy reading and learning. However, other than personal enjoyment, it does not do me or those around me much good if I read and journal but never change anything that I’m doing to line up with with the truths I’ve discovered from the pages of the book.

When I complete the book and the journaling process, I look over my notes, to find one or two things that I will begin to apply right away. If I out of every book I read, I only apply one thing that I’ve learned, by the end of the year, my life and leadership will have gone to a whole new level.

Note - The Evernote entry below, is the main point that I am taking away from I just finished titled, “Visioneering”. I will start applying this right away and make it a continual habit in my leadership.

Journal Entry - October 2019

Taking inventory - Walk before you talk - Chapter 6

If your vision is for a year, plant wheat. If your vision is for a ten years, plant trees. If your vision is for a lifetime, plant people. - Chinese Proverb

Building Block 6 -Walk before you talk. Investigate before you initiate.

Walk before you talk.

- Nehemiah walked about the city - he investigated the rubble - the ruin - in great detail on his own.

- He took inventory of the wall before he cast vision about rebuilding the wall.

Andy Says - When God first lays something on your heart for you to do, done tell anyone. To begin with nobody is going to be nearly as excited as you are. The lack of zeal has the potential to shut you down before you get started. To share a vision prematurely usually guarantees a less than warm reception.

Remember - “A vision does not necessarily require immediate action”.

Jesus say in Luke 14:28 - Which of you when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it.

[This is something I need to walk out more effectively.] I tend to get the vision - cast the vision - start walking it out - before I have thouroughly looked at all the problems, all the angles, what is needed for true success.

My personal game plan for investigating before I initiate:

Once I get an idea of possible vision, I will take time more time to ask and answer the following questions

- What is the vision?

- What problem am I solving?

- What are the hindrances to accomplishing the vision?

- Who else is doing the same type of vision and how can I learn from them?

- Who and how many people are needed to complete it?

- What is the budget requirements?

- Do we have the margin in the budget - how can I get the margin?

- What is the best time line for planning - marketing - launching?

To wrap this up - My process of growth is not perfect. However, I hope seeing a few things that I do will inspire or help you to begin to walk out your own growth journey.

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What are we planting?

What are we planting?

The soil does not care what is planted into it. However, whatever we sow into the ground, the ground will give back to us in abundance.

Our mind is the same way.

Our mind does not care what is planted into it, however, whatever thoughts we sow into our brain, our mind will give back to us in even greater abundance.

Sow negative - reap negative.

Sow positive - reap positive.

Sow poverty - reap poverty.

Sow abundance - reap abundance.

The mind is fertile soil. I’ve decided to sow what I want to grow.

Here are a few things I do on a daily basis.

1 - Listen to a short audio recording of myself speaking to myself about who I am, what I do, the life I experience. None of these things have completely come to pass yet, but I am sowing these thoughts into my mind, so I will begin to live them out, and experience the life I feel God has called me to have.

2 - Read several chapters of Gods word every day and journal my thoughts. Sowing Gods words, into my mind will reap a harvest of Gods blessings in every area of my life.

3 - Read 1 hour everyday, from books that speak life into my marriage, parenting, ministry, finances, and/or leadership. I want these words to go deep into my mind, so that I will begin to live out the truths I read. Eventually, the seeds that I’ve placed in my mind (through reading) will be harvested in my life.

Here are a few questions:

What do you think about yourself?

What do you think about your spouse?

What do you think about your finances?

What do you think about your relationships?

What do you think about your past or your future?

The mind is fertile soil. Sow where you want to go.

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