Are you tired of the drama? Four ways to live a drama free life.

I don’t do drama. I just don't. Here are some reasons why:

Drama is waste of my time.
Life is way too short to get tangled up in in a bunch of stuff that is not going to move the ball forward.

Drama causes pain for me and for others. 
There have been times when I’ve put myself in the middle of issues that were not mine and every time I have … it explodes right back in my face.

The other reason I stay out of the DRAMA game is because God is not into drama.

Romans 12:8
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Here are 4 ways I strive to live a drama free life.

I control what I can control.

There are a lot of things in life I can’t control. I cant control what you think of me. I can’t control what you say about me. I can’t control what you facebook about me or how you act toward me.
I can’t control anything about anyone else … but I can control me.

So when it comes to drama, when things don’t go my way, or someone does something that I don’t like, or does something in a way I don’t appreciate … I do what only I can do. I control me.

I look in the mirror because I’m not perfect either.

I am addicted to Soda. If not careful I have a tendency to yell. I’m not the best with money and to be honest I think I can come across as and actually am pretty rude sometimes. I am anything but perfect in fact, I have some real deep seeded issues.

Because of this, it would be pretty hypocritical of me when someone does something they should not do – to sit here and point fingers at people or post some mean stuff on facebook putting someone else “in their place” when I know in my heart that every time I look in the mirror I am looking at someone just as bad and maybe even worse than they are. So looking in the mirror helps me keep my mouth shut and my fingers from typing words I will later regret.

I talk to the person or I talk to no one.

Mathew 18:15
“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.”

Scripture teaches that if I have someone that does something against me (something that ticks me off) it is my job to go to that person privately (not publically – not call them out on facebook or twitter) privately and talk to them about what happened. If they listen – which they probably will because I handled it in the right way – then everything is good.

This is very tough to do, because nobody (including me) likes one on one confrontation. I’m pretty brave driving home in the car replaying in my mind what I would say to that person if “I had the chance".  I can be very brave sitting in front of the computer or grabbing my phone to text an individual that is not sitting right in front of me.

Texting – Facebooking – Twittering in order to tell someone off is the easy thing to do. However, the right thing for me to do, the Godly thing is for me to go personally and talk one on one. 

I keep my problems off my Social Media Walls.

I am a fairly private person. I don’t have very many friends inside of my inner circle. I don’t like for people to know when I’m hurt, ticked or facing some issues, so this isn’t all that hard for me. I just keep my problems off of Facebook and I don’t comment on other peoples “problems” on Facebook or Twitter either. You will never see me involved in a facebook war or argument. It’s not going to happen because I don’t want the drama. 

Now even though I have not always walked these steps out perfectly, I have found that if I Control what only I can control, look in the mirror, talk to the person face to face, and keep my issues off of Facebook, that I can live a pretty drama free life …and I think you will too.

Is your team succeeding? Here is a formula for success!

In Ministry we all want more. More people. More Influence. More opportunity to minister to others.
In Luke 16 we see that when we are faithful with what we have been given, we will receive more. 

Faithfulness + Stewardship = Gain. 

Here are three things we need to faithfully steward in order to prove to God we are ready for increase. 

1 – TIME

Once it is spent, you can never get time back. So spend your time wisely.
Here are a few tips to faithfully steward your time.

Always have a notebook on you – especially in meetings

You never know when a great idea for a message, or ministry, is going to hit you so always have a notebook close by so you can write down the idea you have. Also, always and I do mean always have a notebook with you in meetings. God uses your superiors and your ministry partners to encourage an inform you so always be ready to learn. 

Prioritize your schedule.

What are the four big things that you need to get done this month? Write them down as well as all of the steps (to do’s) it is going to take for you and your team to complete them. At the end of the day, look over your list to not only see what you accomplished, but to take stock on how efficiently you spent your time. 

Four things you should do every day in ministry.

Have a Personal Study Time – message Prep does not count. 
Work on your Personal Health – workout at least 3 times per week. 
Team Building – Spend some time with your team – meeting, learning, eating, laughing.
Start checking things off your To Do List – Get to work doing the things you need to do.

Set your schedule and then work it. Make sure that you run your day don’t let your day run you.

Work hard and work smart, but get to work! Once your day is prioritized stick with it.
Don’t allow other things like Social Media, Phone Calls, or text you receive to get you off track or wasting time. 

2 – PEOPLE

We are in the people business. People are not only are goal, people are our greatest asset. So be a great steward of the people around you and you God will give you the honor of leading more people into a personal relationship with Him. Here are a few ideas. 

Invite one new person per week to church.

As a leader we need to be smoking what we are selling. There are people all around us everyday that need what we have (Jesus) invite at least one person to experience Jesus at your church service every week.

Talk with people at Church.

To many times we get so busy doing ministry on the weekends that we don’t spend any real time with the people we are ministering too. Each week work the halls of your church, talking, laughing and setting up a time to hang out, talk or grab a coffee with people during the week. 

Meet with at least 1 different person each week to build community.

People spell love T.I.M.E. If you want people to know you love them you have to spend time with them outside of the four walls of the Church. Once they know you love them … they may actually start believing that Jesus loves them too.

Get people on your team and keep them on your team.

Don’t be afraid to have a big ASK. Ask people to join your team!
Three things that will get people to join your team are Vision – Relationship – Authentic Authority.
Remember, the same three things that get them to join your team will also keep them on your team.

3 – EQUIPMENT

If we are not faithful with what we have, we will never be trusted with more! Here are a few ideas for being faithful with equipment.

Get the best price you possibly can on everything you buy.

Never be the “I want something for free” Church (I don’t think that is a good representation of who Jesus is) but also never be frivolous with your spending either. 

Get what we need and then take care of what you get.

I don’t think this point doesn’t need much explaining. 

Don’t treat equipment like it is yours … treat it like it is God’s.

Your computer, your desk, your office, your drum kit, projector and screen do not belong to you they belong to God. Even if you bought it with your own money .. .it does not belong to you. Scripture teaches that “The Earth is the Lords and everything in it” so everything you have is not yours … it belongs to God. So treat it that way.

10 Commandments of Parenting

One of the things that I absolutely love to do is partner with local churches around the country by doing Parent Conferences and Parent Weekends. 

As we are starting to set our schedule for this next years speaking dates on parenting, I found myself going through some of the notes of sessions that I teach and thought that I would put a few of the bullet points up on a blog for parents to check out. 

Here are the 10 Commandments of Parenting. 

1 – Walk with Jesus
2 – Love and Serve your spouse
3 – Investigate before giving permission
4 – Don’t say it if you don’t mean it
5 – Set strong boundaries
6 – Speak God’s word over your children
7 – Stay in Control
8 – Pray over your kids every day
9 – Make a memory
10 – Enjoy today because tomorrow comes too quickly

If you would like more inspiration, you can check out our messages on Parenting and Family Life, by  CLICKING HERE . This will take you to TheCHURCH at Visalia youtube page. There you can view teaching series titled FAMILY MATTERS, WE ARE BRINGING FAMLY BACK and more. 

Cultivating time for creative thought.

The best conversations you will ever have are the conversations that you have with yourself.  Because of this it is very important that you target the places where you THINK (talk with yourself) the best and most creatively.  I do my best thinking when...

I'm in my office.

I love my office. I'll be honest it is nothing special, in fact it is very plain. However, it is quiet and a perfect place to sit and think about the future that God has. 

I'm mowing my lawn.

I know it sounds crazy, but I get some of my best message ideas while mowing the lawn.  For some reason, yard work has always sparked creative thinking. 

I'm driving my car.

It has been my habit for the past 10 years to drive around during my lunch break. About two or three times per week, I will jump in my car and simply drive around the area thinking, praying, and strategizing. There have been plenty of great ideas come to mind during these 30 minute drive sessions.

I'm in prayer.

There is noting like plugging into Christ's creativity.  In all of my prayer times I talk with God, allow him to talk with me, then I discuss all of those things with myself.  I love this time.

I'm reading a book.

When I read a book I generally have a pen and notebook close by.  The reason is, I can only read for a few pages before I have to stop and take notes on all the things that are flooding my mind.  Many times these thoughts have nothing to do with the book I'm reading. 

Where do you do your best thinking?  

Do you carve out time each week to simply think?  If not, what are you waiting for?  

This week, go to a coffee shop, bookstore, or hop on your riding mower and think.

You'll be glad you did.

One of the best things you can do to improve as a speaker.

One of the best things you can ever do to improve as a speaker is watch yourself speak. For the past 12 years I have allocated an hour and a half to watch and study the message I delivered that week.  There are five reasons why I think you should do the same. 

1. You see and hear the delivery of your content from the crowds perspective. 

2. You see how you used the stage. 

3. You see how you used your body to engage the crowd.

4. You see your facial features and if they worked. 

5. You see and hear any repetitive patterns of speech or movement that take away from the point or are distracting. 

There are several other things that I've done and do each week to improve at communicating that truths of scripture, but watching my messages is by far one of the best. 

For more speaking tips go to BUILD CURRICULUM and for one on one training go to COACHING. I would be honored to serve you!