These 10 statements have helped me. Maybe they will help you.

1. If I tell people what they need to hear, in a way they want to hear it, they might just change. 

2. My talent and $1 will get me a cheap cup of coffee. (and I hate coffee) 

3. Mediocrity is accepted it is not created. 

4. I will never accomplish anything by simply thinking about it.

5. People don’t listen to what I say they listen to what I do.

6. If I follow my leader well, others people will follow me. 

7. Money follows vision, not need.

8. I don't need what great people have.  I need to do what great people have done. 

9. I will never get help unless I ask.

10. Honesty, Humility, and Hard Work don't cost me anything, but they will get me everything. 

Too much of a good thing, is not a good thing.

The other day I came across this photo of my daughter Lilly. It was taken several years ago on a night where some close family members had came down to spend a few days with us at our home in Oklahoma. 

We had a ton of fun. We stayed up late every night talking and playing cards. We loved it.  My Uncle makes killer egg rolls, so one night we decided to have him make them for dinner.  There was only 10 of us total and Uncle Jim made 75 egg rolls, a monster bowl of fried rice, and a huge pot of egg drop soup.  

We ate and ate and ate and ate some more.  It was all good, but it was a little too much.  By the time it was over I had had my fill of egg rolls to such the extent that even the sight of chinese food or egg rolls, made me a little queasy for months! I had no interest in having them....at all.

Sometimes we can have too much of a good thing.

This is true not only with food but also in youth ministry. Think about it for a minute.

Your worship might be good, but do you really need to sing the same song 8 times in a row?  

Your message might be incredible, but do you need dive into 15 points of faith in the same night? 

Dodgeball is a game that students love, but do you have to play it every single week?  

I don't think so.

Pace yourself.  Leave them wanting more and who knows they just might come back next week.

For more training and tips go to YOUTH MINISTRY UNIVERSITY. 

Ten Steps Toward "BETTER". Leadership lessons from Nehemiah.

Does your family, finances, faith, business, or ministry need to get better?

In this blog we are going to look at a man named Nehemiah who had a city (Jerusalem) that needed to get better in almost every way.  In looking at what Nehemiah did to improve a city that was near and dear to his heart, you and I will discover the steps we need to make whats near to our better! 

1. See the need.

Nehemiah 1:1-3    The words of Nehemiah the son of Hacaliah. Now it happened in the month of Chislev, in the twentieth year, as I was in Susa the citadel, that Hanani, one of my brothers, came with certain men from Judah. And I asked them concerning the Jews who escaped, who had survived the exile, and concerning Jerusalem. And they said to me, “The remnant there in the province who had survived the exile is in great trouble and shame. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates are destroyed by fire.”

2. Feel the burden.

Nehemiah 1:4    As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven. 

3. Take ownership of personal mistakes. 

Nehemiah 1:6-7   let your ear be attentive and your eyes open, to hear the prayer of your servant that I now pray before you day and night for the people of Israel your servants, confessing the sins of the people of Israel, which we have sinned against you. Even I and my father's house have sinned. We have acted very corruptly against you and have not kept the commandments, the statutes, and the rules that you commanded your servant Moses.

4. Ask for Gods help. 

Nehemiah 1:11   O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name, and give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.”

5. Develop a plan.  - and - 6. Build strategic partnerships. 

Nehemiah 2:1-9   In the month of Nisan, in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was before him, I took up the wine and gave it to the king. Now I had not been sad in his presence.  And the king said to me, “Why is your face sad, seeing you are not sick? This is nothing but sadness of the heart.” Then I was very much afraid. I said to the king, “Let the king live forever! Why should not my face be sad, when the city, the place of my fathers' graves, lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?” Then the king said to me, “What are you requesting?” So I prayed to the God of heaven. And I said to the king, “If it pleases the king, and if your servant has found favor in your sight, that you send me to Judah, to the city of my fathers' graves, that I may rebuild it.” And the king said to me (the queen sitting beside him), “How long will you be gone, and when will you return?” So it pleased the king to send me when I had given him a time. And I said to the king, “If it pleases the king, let letters be given me to the governors of the province Beyond the River, that they may let me pass through until I come to Judah,  and a letter to Asaph, the keeper of the king's forest, that he may give me timber to make beams for the gates of the fortress of the temple, and for the wall of the city, and for the house that I shall occupy.” And the king granted me what I asked, for the good hand of my God was upon me.

7. Take a closer look. 

Nehemiah 2:11-15   So I went to Jerusalem and was there three days. Then I arose in the night, I and a few men with me. And I told no one what my God had put into my heart to do for Jerusalem. There was no animal with me but the one on which I rode. I went out by night by the Valley Gate to the Dragon Spring and to the Dung Gate, and I inspected the walls of Jerusalem that were broken down and its gates that had been destroyed by fire. Then I went on to the Fountain Gate and to the King's Pool, but there was no room for the animal that was under me to pass. Then I went up in the night by the valley and inspected the wall, and I turned back and entered by the Valley Gate, and so returned.

8. See what the problem is, but speak about what the future will be. 

Nehemiah 2:17  Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.”

9. Talk to the problem, not about it. 

Nehemiah 2:19-20   But when Sanballat the Horonite, Tobiah the Ammonite official and Geshem the Arab heard about it, they mocked and ridiculed us. “What is this you are doing?” they asked. “Are you rebelling against the king?” I answered them by saying, “The God of heaven will give us success. We his servants will start rebuilding, but as for you, you have no share in Jerusalem or any claim or historic right to it.”

10. Roll up your sleeves and get to work. 

Nehemiah 2:18    “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work.

Three things that will cap your leadership lid.

LOOKING AT THE WRONG PEOPLE.

Let's say you are a 6′ tall forward in High School that averages 15 points per game for your basketball team in rural small-town America. If all you ever do is compare yourself to the local competition, you are going to be in for a rude awakening when you play against Division I Athletes that are All-Americans from the big city. However, if you consistently study guys that are bigger, faster and stronger than you. It will keep you humble, reveal your weaknesses and help you understand where you need to improve.

The same is true for leadership. If you are a Pastor/Youth Pastor at a slightly above average size church, with a nice website, a few staff members, and a strong offering each week and all you ever do is compare yourself to other leaders with less people, less staff, no web-site, and a small giving base than you are going to feel like you have arrived.

However, just like the Basketball player, you haven’t arrived at all. You are just looking at the wrong people. If instead of looking at Leaders that are the same or below you in certain areas, you would look at leaders with larger congregations, more staff members, multiple church locations, and much larger bank accounts, you would stay humble, see where you are weak and understand the areas that you need to improve in.

Far to many Christian Leaders have a “big fish in a little pond” mentality. When we do, we put a lid on our growth. I firmly believe that what we “see” is what we will “be”. Because of this, you and I will never grow past what we are looking at. So make sure that you look at people, organizations, and leaders that are bigger, faster, stronger and more effective than you currently are. When you do, you will stay humble and that humility will allow God to put His grace on everything you do.

REFUSING TO TAKE HONEST CRITIQUE

We all want to be right.I think it’s just human nature.We want to come up with a great idea, have it be amazing and then get all of the credit.

But the truth of the matter is, there are very few times in life where we as leaders come up with an idea that is absolutely perfect and cannot be improved upon. In fact I would go as far to say that there is NEVER a time in life where our ideas are perfect … everything can get better.

If you and I want to improve in life and leadership we have to be willing to open ourselves and our ideas up for critique. We have to be willing to have people sitting around a table or living life with us that care enough to say … “I think your idea is OK … but what if we did this instead”.

When we don’t do that. When you and I surround ourselves with a bunch of “yes” men or woman who are too afraid, too intimidated, or too apathetic to offer us their honest opinion …. we will never be better than our last idea. And may I be bold enough to say that our last idea … was OK at best.

If you want everyone in the room to agree with you … get used to where you are. Because that is the only place you will ever be.

STOP ASKING QUESTIONS

Great leaders never stop asking questions … that is why they never stop growing.
I have been around some incredible leaders thru the years, and there is one thing I have noticed about all of them … they ask a ton of questions. 

There is always someone doing something better than you are.
Find them and ask them what they are doing. When you do … you will grow.

For more leadership tips and training, check out YOUTH MINISTRY UNIVERSITY and RESOURCE PAGE. 

Tips for Single Ladies.

When it comes to finding Mr. Right here is a passage to keep in mind.

Proverbs 4:26-27 says, "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil."

Lets unpack this passage and find some great tips for you as a single lady looking for Mr. Right. 

1 - Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.

Ladies, be patient. Live your life every single day. Do what you do, be who you are and stop looking around all the time wondering if Mr. Right is in the room.  Be patient and God will bring you a man.  Remember, you need a Man not a boy that shaves. So be patient. 

2 - Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways

In this passage steadfast means, unmovable or confident.  So be confident in who you are and what God is doing thru you. God made you for a purpose, a plan and a person so live like it. There is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman that knows who she is and what God has called her to do. 

3 - Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

Keep your feet away from evil places. You won't find the right man in the wrong place.  So continually go to places that are positive and Mr. Right may meet you there.

4 - Don't settle for living together. If he loves you he will marry you.

Never settle for someone who's not willing to be a man and love you like Christ loved the Church.  Christ kept his promise to serve, protect, provide and love the church.  If your man is not willing to stand before God and men to promise to do the same for you, move on.  He is not the right one for you.